Part 2: Working Ourselves to Death

In our last reading, we looked at some of the characteristics of those who are work addicted. Now we will take a look beneath the surface and explore why one might be working him or herself to death. Much of our addictive tendencies begin when we are young. While growing up, there might be other influences on a person’s life, but the strongest influence, for better or for worse, is the family of origin. When children are growing up in families where certain dynamics exist, it can be an incubator for addiction. Here are some of the most salient contributing factors to the birth of an addictive process like workaholism.

Inordinate and Consistent Preoccupation of the Family’s Primary Caregivers : Some workaholics grew up in families where one or both parents were overly preoccupied with some activity, thought process or addiction which prevented them from being fully present. This kind of preoccupation is indicative of some degree of emotional cutting off or cutting back. In other words, members of the family have unresolved issues that prevent them from being fully present. This type of environment can have an adverse effect on the children growing up in it because it leads them to believe that they themselves must be the problem. If that is the case, the children tend to think they must win their parents’ approval. Thus, an addiction to doing in order to earn love begins forming in a child’s life.

Unexpressed Trauma experienced by the Family of Origin: There are times when a family will experience some type of significant loss, trauma or severance of relationship and not have the resources to deal with it in a healthy fashion. Some examples of this include but are not limited to:

• Death
• Lengthy or major illness
• Divorce
• Abandonment
• Bankruptcy
• Termination of employment creating economic hardship

One way people attempt to work through the pain of loss is by becoming busy and refusing to talk. Busyness keeps a family’s mind off the loss they’ve experienced. When you stay busy, you don’t have to talk. When busyness and silence are modeled to the children as a way to cope with pain and loss, then it can naturally download into the next generation as they seek for ways to cope with any of the pain and losses they will experience.

Rigid Rules and Roles: The family adopted some form of demanding and yet self-defeating rules and roles that seemed normal but nonetheless, hindered the free flow of personal creativity, spontaneity, freedom, growth and appropriate expressions of love, nurture and respect among family members.

All three of these can contribute to the making of a workaholic. If you grew up in a family with any or all of the abovementioned, then there is a chance that you too might be struggling with an addiction to work. The Bridge to Recovery is a residential treatment facility specializing in treating people with codependent tendencies and process oriented addictions like workaholism. For more information on how we can help, give us a call at 877-866-8661 or visit us online at www.thebridgetorecovery.com.